Life and career coach Bailey Frumen ’06, ’07M, LCSW, says one of the main reasons clients seek her out is they feel “stuck.”
A trained psychotherapist, speaker, and author of Own Your Power: Your Guide to Feeling Powerful, Fearless & Free, Frumen has more than a decade of experience helping people “reconnect with who they are” so they can restore balance between their careers and the quality of life they seek.
She shared three steps anyone can take to get “unstuck” in their life, career, or anywhere else.
Figure out what’s getting in your way
Start by taking an inventory of life’s six key areas: career, mental and emotional well-being, physical health, finances, relationships, and spirituality. Think about each area objectively and without judgment, and rate how you’re doing with each on a scale of one to 10. “To achieve anything, you have to zoom out and take an inventory of where things are right now,” says Frumen. “If you don’t get clear on what’s holding you back, it’s going to show up over and over.”
Manage your expectations
Once you determine which areas need the most work, figure out what steps you can take to improve. “The size of the gap between where you are and where you want to be will reveal how much work you have to do,” says Frumen. If the gap is big—say, for example, you get winded walking to the mailbox but your goal is to run a 5K—a realistic timeline and bite-sized goals are critical for long-term success. “This is where a coach can help you define the results you want and figure out the steps you need to take to get there.”
Be cognizant of your narrative
“Our words dictate our feelings, which dictate our actions,” says Frumen, adding that this self-talk cycle is the same for everyone regardless of age, gender, or socioeconomic status. “You’re never going to feel great and take positive action if you’re speaking negatively to yourself all the time,” she says. “If your narrative is negative, your feelings will be negative, and you’ll choose actions based on those negative feelings. We’re always telling a story. What is the story you’re telling yourself?”