{"id":859,"date":"2017-06-21T12:00:42","date_gmt":"2017-06-21T16:00:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.monmouth.edu\/magazine?p=859"},"modified":"2020-10-05T11:20:51","modified_gmt":"2020-10-05T15:20:51","slug":"summer-lovin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.monmouth.edu\/magazine\/summer-lovin\/","title":{"rendered":"Summer Lovin\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"

Most Americans believe there is a special someone they are meant to be with\u2014ideally, someone a lot like themselves. Those are two findings from a recent poll conducted by Monmouth University Polling Institute in collaboration with Gary Lewandowski, professor and chair of Monmouth\u2019s Department of Psychology, whose research focuses on romantic relationships. Here\u2019s a look at some of the numbers and what they mean.<\/p>\n

\n

There\u2019s someone for everyone, some say<\/h2>\n

66%<\/sup> <\/span>of American adults believe in the concept of soul mates\u2014the idea that there is a specific person we are each meant to be with.<\/p>\n

\n
82%<\/sup> <\/span>of women currently in a relationship are most likely to believe this.<\/div>\n
64%<\/sup> <\/span>of men in a relationship think it.<\/div>\n
14%<\/sup> <\/span>of Americans don\u2019t give much credence to the idea of soul mates.<\/div>\n
17%<\/sup> <\/span>don\u2019t believe in the concept at all.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Lewandowski says:<\/strong> \u201cThough romantic, believing in soul mates isn\u2019t necessarily ideal for your relationship. The research indicates that those who believe in soul mates and destiny are actually more likely to break up. On the other hand, those who believe that relationships grow over time have more stable relationships and are better at dealing with conflict.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\n

You\u2019re the one that you want<\/h2>\n

Despite the adage that opposites attract, most Americans feel their ideal mates are those who are similar to themselves.<\/p>\n

\n
6 in <\/span>10<\/span>\u00a0Americans say that partners should generally be similar\u2014though not too similar.<\/div>\n
1 in <\/span>3<\/span>\u00a0Americans say they should be more different\u2014though not too different.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Lewandowski says<\/strong>: \u201cBeing more similar helps minimize conflict. If both of [you] like going to the beach, neither of [you] need to sacrifice.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\n

Best friends with benefits<\/h2>\n

83%<\/sup> <\/span>of American adults in a relationship see their current partners as their best friends.<\/p>\n

\n
88%<\/sup> <\/span>of married respondents feel this way.<\/div>\n
72%<\/sup> <\/span>in a nonmarital relationship think the same.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Lewandowski says<\/strong>: \u201cConsidering your romantic partner to be your best friend is an important component of quality relationships. In fact, when researchers asked couples who have been married <\/em>over 15 years why their relationships lasted, the top reason was that their partners are their best friends.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\n

Brains matter<\/h2>\n

Most Americans want to marry someone …<\/p>\n

\n
equally as smart<\/span>\u00a051%<\/sup><\/span><\/div>\n
or<\/div>\n
smarter than themselves<\/span>\u00a039%<\/sup><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Only 3 percent think it\u2019s good to marry someone less smart.<\/p>\n

Lewandowski says<\/strong>: \u201cMarrying someone smarter than you is <\/em>wise, because in quality relationships, you take on many of your partner\u2019s qualities as your own and ultimately share your partner\u2019s successes.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

The head or the heart?<\/h2>\n

Most Americans say the ideal partner is someone who makes decisions with their head rather than their gut.<\/p>\n

\n
78%<\/sup> <\/span>prefer a partner who makes decisions from the head.<\/div>\n
15%<\/sup> <\/span>prefer a partner who makes them from the gut.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Lewandowski says<\/strong>: \u201cEmotionally unstable partners undermine relationships, so having a partner who is more logical and rational should promote stability.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\n

The politics of love<\/h2>\n

The partisan divide impacting American life has also crept into how Americans view their relationships.<\/p>\n

\n
\n
65%<\/sup> <\/span>of Republicans<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
57%<\/sup> <\/span>of independents<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
52%<\/sup> <\/span>of Democrats<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

say they are \u201cextremely satisfied\u201d with their relationships.<\/p>\n

\n
\n
\n
91%<\/sup> <\/span>of Republicans<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
78%<\/sup> <\/span>of independents<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
83%<\/sup> <\/span>of Democrats<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

say their partners are their best friends.<\/p>\n

Lewandowski says<\/strong>: \u201cThese differences may be attributable to Republicans placing greater value on marriage. As a result, Republicans may be more motivated to see relationships more positively.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

The poll was conducted by telephone from January 12 to 15, 2017, with 801 adults in the United States, including 50 percent who are married, 10 percent who are living with a partner, and another 10 percent who are in a non-cohabitating romantic relationship. The results have a margin of error of +\/- 3.5 percent.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A graphical look at how we view love in America.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":974,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"image_focus":"{\"x\":2,\"y\":41}","hide_title":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-859","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-currents"],"thumbnail":"\"\"","catString":"Currents","issue":"Summer 2017","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monmouth.edu\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/859","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monmouth.edu\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monmouth.edu\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monmouth.edu\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monmouth.edu\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=859"}],"version-history":[{"count":30,"href":"https:\/\/www.monmouth.edu\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/859\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1008,"href":"https:\/\/www.monmouth.edu\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/859\/revisions\/1008"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monmouth.edu\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/974"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.monmouth.edu\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=859"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monmouth.edu\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=859"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.monmouth.edu\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=859"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}